SPOILER ALERT: NOT SUITED FOR CAT PEOPLE
I keenly watch ‘distance learning’ through my grandchildren. I am delighted when they reach out and share work they’ve done at school. Over the weekend, 10-year-old granddaughter Lyla shared her paper “Cats,” which she wrote for Mrs. Cardinal’s 4th grade class. The more I read it, the more I smile, and I see it as a commendable ‘poem’ that deserves to be posted on this website’s ‘poetry
page’ which I have sadly not touched in a year. I liken Lyla’s work to Ralphie’s essay “What I Want for Christmas” for Miss Shields’ 4th grade class in the film “A Christmas Story,” though I am certain Lyla fared better with Mrs. Cardinal than Ralphie did with Miss Shields unless, heaven forbid, Mrs. Cardinal is a CAT PERSON!
I will shun that thought… And so, I present to you my 10-year-old granddaughter’s essay – nay ‘masterpiece’ as Ralphie would put it – “Cats,” magically transformed here into a poem worthy of Garrison Keillor’s “The Writer’s Almanac,” or perhaps musical adaptation by Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Cats
I do not like cats. In this article, you will learn why I don’t like cats.
My first reason why I don’t like cats is they will just keep scratching you when you tell them to stop and it is so annoying. That is my first reason for not liking cats.
Wait for my next reason why I really do not like cats.
My next reason for not liking cats is that they don’t let you pet them when you want to but when you don’t want to pet them they won’t leave you alone.
That is my second reason.
The last reason is that cats have sharp nails and have power over us. This is another reason why I do not like cats.
In conclusion, I really do not like cats.
Don’t let a cat scratch you, just stick with dogs.
Lyla, 2020
(who I call Mabel)